26-year-old woman tells mooching in-laws to move out after they move with her from a 1-bedroom apartment to her and her husband's new home: ‘We are in the house and not talking at all’

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  • a woman lazily sitting on a couch on a laptop doing nothing
  • "AITA for making my in laws move out knowing they can't support themselves???"

    AITA- So I 26F have been married now for 2 and 1/2 years with my husband who is also 26M.
  • Basically a year ago, October 2024 we allowed for his mom 50F and sister 23F to come stay with us.
  • His mom was needing to have both of her knees replaced for a surgery but she couldn't because she needed to lose a lot of weight before it and basically his mom and sister were homeless living out of a hotel.
  • I offered for them to live with us for a while until she had her surgery and recovered and for the time being they could save money to get back on their feet.
  • This arrangement was only meant to last for about 4 to 5 months which we did talk about.
  • In the beginning my husband was adamant to allow this to go on but he agreed.
  • Mind you we were all cramped inside me and my husband's one bedroom apartment and at the time me and him had only been married for one year and his family was living in our living room.
  • So you can imagine how the house was. By the time November came of 2024 me and my husband purchased our first house and we moved in a couple of days after thanksgiving.
  • His mom and sister came and moved with us there as well. By the time December got around I was noticing that the mom and sister were both leaning off a lot of things.
  • For example his sister was going to work less and less until eventually she quit her job and his mom's surgery never happened and she stopped going to the gym for a while.
  • She also quit her job and had no income coming in. As Time continue doing this presented to be a problem which was presented to husband and we were trying to come up with the plan.
  • By the time June of 2025 came, tensions really were high with his family and conversations of them leaving came to play.
  • Again for all this time his family wasn't working and wasn't showing any interest in doing so or trying to find stability.
  • His mom was getting Social Security and food stamps but all of the money was going towards her bills.
  • This was very taxing on me and my husband's relationship because I as a teacher was not working during the summer and I couldn't find work so we had to figure out a way to pay for our mortgage and our AC happened to go out.
  • Instead of trying to figure something out, me and him were left scrambling while his family did nothing to help the situation.
  • We have to borrow plenty of times from my grandparents to help us out. When I saw that the situation was not going to improve me and my husband had a conversation and we talked about giving them a deadline to move out.
  • They really needed to figure something out and I felt as if us helping them all this time and keeping them comfortable was not going to help.
  • Me and my husband both work from 8:00 to 4:30 everyday and we would come home and our house is a mess and all the food and resources inside will be used up and never replaced.
  • an untidy kitchen with food left out on the white tile counter
  • Furniture, dishes, and appliances would be broken and would not be replaced and it would be left to me and my husband to once again figure it out.
  • Once I got to a boiling point I started getting called names from his mother and got a lot of attitude and disrespect from her as well as his sister.
  • We ended up not talking for about a month until we ended up coming to terms and forgiving each other even though I don't know what I needed to forgive them for.
  • Moving on to the July where now another situation boiled over where I found out that his mom had a payoff from her previous job and all the money she had been getting from that and Social Security she was using to just pay off her debts and she wasn't helping with what was going on in the house.
  • I gave her originally until October 1st of this year to move out and she ended up calling me out of my name and saying that I am cold and heartless and that she hopes I never end up in her situation.
  • My daughter has also said some harsh things to me and put her hands in my face, which is very triggering for me it makes me want to fight.
  • And my husband this whole time has been dragging a situation out and has now extended it till December 1st for them to get on their feet.
  • Here it is October 13th and there is still no progress for jobs and either one of them or means of income.
  • She is living in this fantasy world where she thinks she can find an apartment or let alone by a house on only Social Security and with no credit to use.
  • And now we are in the house and not talking at all and it's been that way since July.
  • AITA for telling them that they need to leave my house at a certain time knowing that she has to have surgery soon and that they have no means to support themselves really???
  • merishore25 Of course not. It has gone on too long. Your husband needs to back you up and have the conversations. The only way he may do it is if you let him know your marriage is on the line. At this point his head is in the sand and he doesn't want to deal with it.
  • lastunicorn76 They just need to leave. They will never get on their feet why should they they live rent free and comfortably in your home. Just tell them they need to leave. Where they go or how they go there is not your problem. They've both been a waste and burden far too long.
  • IntrepidMuch Honestly OP, you need to leave all three of them to themselves. If you can go back to your parents home, that would be ideal. They all need a reality check and you need space from the crazy. The fact that your husband is letting this drag on puts this in the deal breaker category.
  • Boson Higgs1000003 Haha the GT O of there gambit. This is a good idea! Being in such an unpleasant and fraught environment, could be overwhelming, and getting out of it will seem impossible. So! yeah, pack a backpack with your favourite things, and grab your laptop, and get a new bank account, and get out of there. Brilliant.

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